Lindsay and the no good, horrible, very bad week. (broken and tired, but still good enough)

Hi, friends.
As dorky and cliche as this may sound, I'm still getting used to this so bare with me as much as your patience will allow. I felt a calling to make a blog and share the ways that God is continuously working in my life. So hopefully this gives at least one person hope, comfort, or peace, because then my lack of sleep and social interaction will have paid off. So if you're that one person, or even maybe two, know that this is me serving The Lord by serving you. 

I've had a rough week. I've cried endless amounts of tears, dirtied the sleeves of countless shirts, and thought a lot more than the average human probably should. But that's ok; I'm not supposed to be able to do this on my own. 

Since you don't know me personally, you obviously don't know anything about me (I swear this awkward small talk will talk soon, I just have to get comfortable). So I'll sum up me real fast:
-I'm not good at speaking but I'm extremely good at writing (once again, a w k w a r d)
-I play volleyball. All. Year. It never stops and I'm pretty content with that.
-I'm a sister, a daughter, a best friend, a girlfriend, and a child of The Lord.
-My L5 and L6 discs in my back are bulging and have degenerative disc disease. I'm no doctor, but it basically means that the two bottom discs in my back are running out of stuff to keep them from rubbing against each other.

The reason I tell you this last part is because it's playing an extreme role in my life right now and controlling me a lot more than I would like for it to, which brings me back to Lindsay and The No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Week. 

Decisions have had to be made. And I'm a pretty indecisive person, which might have had an effective on the amount of breakdowns I've had. I'm also a pleaser. I like for people to like me, and I like to be VERY good at what I do, whether it's a coloring sheet or an exam. I'm a perfectionist, and I get uncomfortable when I don't get things right.

Fortunately for me, I've learned about life this week: it doesn't go smooth and it doesn't go your way. I saw "fortunately" because I think it's a good thing. I think it's a marvelous thing to have your own little bubble that you're so comfortable in popped because while inside there, you get this insane idea that you don't need anyone. And I was reminded by The Lord this week how wrong and ignorant I am. If it takes my eyes to be cried dry and my world to be turned upside down, so be it. I've learned this week who I really need to please, and it's not a coach, a parent, a sibling, or a boyfriend. It's The Lord of the Universe, The Prince of Peace, The Son of God, and the one that died to show me just how precious I am to Him. THAT is who I aim to please. 

I have lived my whole life with this one habit of pleasing people and working towards worldy things that don't matter. But God is pushing me in a new direction filled with more sunshine and love. I read somewhere that God is doing thousands of things in our lives and we probably know of about three of them. I trust in this and in the Word that The Lord has gifted us with. 

So pray for me, friends, as I continue to make more decisions (which means more procrastination, I know some of you understand), find more understanding, and try to find the way to get all the letters in my head untangled and into a story I can share with you that gives you hope and proof that The Lord is good. And as I sit here in a back brace with endless emotions running through my heart, I still witness that the Lord is good. 

Pastor Dave:  Sometimes you don’t make any sense.
Reverend Jude:  And sometimes you make too much sense.  Just remember… God is Good…
Dave:  All the time.  
Reverend Jude:  And all the time…
Dave:  God is good.
               -God's Not Dead
I'm a mess, I'm broken, and I'm tired, but somehow I'm still good enough in Jesus' eyes. Thanks for letting me write, friends, I'm at peace. 

P.S.- I'm sorry if there are mistakes in this, but if I read back over this I know for sure that I'll take something out and I want to go all out with this.(Promise I'm done now.) Thanks for listening to my randomness.